Teppie and Christina Chartomatsidis

How To Overcome Perfectionism



Posted: Monday, June 27, 2011

by Teppie and Christina Chartomatsidis
Dream Believe and Manifest

The characteristics of a perfectionist

Perfectionists tend to have unrealistically high expectations of themselves that they can never meet. Whenever things fall short of these expectations they are likely to feel disappointed and criticise themselves. They are also obsessed with small flaws and mistakes. Because everything has to be done perfectly, they become vulnerable to disappointment, frustration and feelings of failure. As a result, their level of self confidence and self esteem is low.

Ways of overcoming perfectionism

If you suffer from perfectionism you need to make a fundamental shift in your attitude towards yourself and how you approach life in general. The following tips below can help you take the first steps in this shift for overcoming perfectionism.

Society may measure your worth by your level of status or by the things you own. However don’t let this apply to the way you see yourself. The very fact that you were created signifies that God finds you worthy. In other words, your worth was given to you by God, as it is given to every human being – so there’s no need in trying to attain it. Know that if you keep relying on external achievements and accomplishments you will drive yourself into stress, exhaustion and burnout.

Perfectionism is expressed through your self-talk. The following examples are typical perfectionist phrases:

To deal with perfectionism, you have to challenge these types of thoughts directly. Test their validity or see if they can stand up to rational logic. For instance ask yourself, “If the job I do doesn’t get finished to my standards and expectations, does it really mean that it has been worthless?” “Is it realistic to think that I have to win everything, every time?”

When you fall short, ask yourself how important is a mistake or shortcoming you make today going to be in a month or year from now. Save yourself the stress and pressure of dwelling over a small mistake. Observe that in most cases, the mistake you make will be forgotten within a short period of time – so it’s not worth stressing over. Change your interpretation of failure. Know that all successful people fail at one time or another. The truth is that failure plays a big role in success.

Modify, change or work on your goals so that they are more realistically attainable. Determine if what you are going out for is reasonable for you to strive for. Are you expecting too much of yourself and the world? If you are, adjust your goals to be in line with the limiting factors of time, energy and resources.

Uncover the reason for your striving towards a certain goal. For example, ask yourself if you’re doing it because of a need to prove you are the best or by an inner desire or passion. If you are striving towards something because of perfectionism, stop. Know that your self-worth truly comes from within, and no amount of winning or being perfect can make you truly satisfied.

Imagine that you were able to produce a perfect product or performance every time. Ask yourself would this lead to your complete happiness? Or would it lead others to keep expecting better and better results each time? Like an addiction, perfectionism will demand more and more of you. Instead of filling you with happiness or fulfilment, it will leave you feeling wasted and still unsatisfied.
Teppie and Christina Chartomatsidis are Personal Development writers, bloggers and online coaches. Teppie and Christina founded Dream Believe and Manifest - a personal development website full of free resources and products for people seeking to improve their lives and to understand themselves and others better.

www.dreambelieveandmanifest.com

This Article has been viewed 123 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.